I Can Be Thin by Then – Can’t I?
Even though I write a blog entitled THRIVE ANY WEIGHT and I coach others to live a life they love in spite of what size they are, that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally yearn to have a better body for an upcoming event. There are so many levels to wanting to lose weight before a making some sort of a public appearance, whether it be a wedding, reunion, celebration, public speaking event. I know many go through this and I guess I wondered if our thought process was similar. Add any of your additions below and let’s see who relates. Thanks
So this is my thought process.
- I hear about the event and commit to going
- Somewhere a long the line I decide I want to look better for it
- I envision a new outfit and being complimented for the way I look
- I imagine being the belle of the ball
- I think about doing something everyday but the more I do, the less successful I am
- I begin to get frantic as the time gets closer
- I start to renegotiate my options – (maybe I can lose 10 pounds if I start today)
- As the day gets closer I beat myself up a bit for not taking action
- I consider not going
- I throw in the towel and say, Oh well, I will just look frumpy one more time.
- I dread the event getting closer
- I scrounge to find something tolerable to wear
- I go feeling ‘less than’
- I have no more than an ‘OK’ time
- I can’t wait to go home
- I vow never to do this again
I am not sure if I can promise not to have this debilitating scenario happen again. What I can promise is this. I will implement the following into the process.
My New Process:
- I will look forward to a fun event
- I will look as wonderful as possible
- I will sit up straight, smile and be noticed
- I will be a shining star
- I will be social and dance and feel alive
- I will appreciate who I am and all of my magnificence
- I will feel the energy of the day and my entitlement to be there just the way I am
- I will have the best time
- I will accept more invitations to do the same
Enjoy your life, no matter what your size. You are much more than your weight.
Read This weeks Diary of a Mad Dieter
I watched this video today (below) about a woman who took her clothes off for a cause. The message is about body image. As a large woman, I wonder how many others think to themselves…’she has a great body, what does she have to be concerned about’? That thought lasts for about a minute until I realize that body image goes deep and wide. Some of the most attractive people can’t see their own beauty. I begin to wonder not only what brings people to a place of abusing their bodies with over, under or abusive eating, but what happened to bring them to a place of loathing their bodies or body parts? When did it become so important to remove a wrinkle instead of being proud of the experience that created it? When did the scars of childbirth become something to be ashamed of? When did who we really are become unacceptable?
I am happy to see many movements out there that support inner beauty and self acceptance. I still think we are a long way off, partly due to the pressure of the media and the inflicted opinions of others.
For today, I would like to invite you to have a moment with yourself. One where you look at yourself or close your eyes and feel yourself and cite the following: ‘Just for this moment I accept who I am, inside and out. I look and feel the way I do because that’s who I am. I don’t need to change or defend anything. I will be in a loving place with myself for as long as I can hold that space and will do it as often as I remember to do so. Because I am beautiful and worthy of hearing good things about me. From me. For me. Because I AM ME!!’
Hello everyone, I apologize for the duplicate post from my Diary of A Mad Dieter Journal, but I felt it was important enough to share with you here as well to make sure everyone got the news. I am finally going to be turning some of this weight humor and motivation into videos. I do hope you will subscribe to my channel. Please see the video below and don’t forget to pass it along. Comments, Likes and ideas are welcome. Thanks so much.
Doing just one little thing a day can make all the difference in our lives. We often try to accomplish such large feats that we sabotage our success with overwhelm.
For those of us who have weight issues, we tend to neglect ourselves if we have been in the ‘failing at everything we try’ mode. We may give up taking care of our personal grooming. We may stop caring about our emotional needs and we may even stop feeling good about our future.
I find that when I start to feel any of those things, it’s time to bring in the good and let go of some of the bad. What does that mean? It means whatever you CAN do at this very moment, is what you can do…. and not try to push yourself more than you’re ready for.
Some days all I can do is think a slightly positive thought. ‘Today I bring healthy thoughts into my mind’. Or I will drink an extra glass of water or stretch some part of my body for a few minutes.
The idea is to take a step, whatever size you can, whenever you can and begin to build momentum. I know most of us have heard this before, yet we don’t really do that one little thing that can get the ball rolling. You don’t have to take a full step forward, sometimes a pinky toe in the right direction can make all the difference in the world.
So, I ask you this – can you start each and every day asking yourself – ‘what little thing am I willing to do to move me forward today? If you do this, I would love to hear from you – about what you chose to do and what results it brought. Thank you for being in my life. Together we can support our blissful future.
I have spent so many years focused on losing weight, getting thin, and working on my body that I lost myself somewhere in all of that.
One day I realized that I had a lot to bring to the table and to offer the world. I am a great business woman who has much to offer. I have an above average sense of humor and like to make people feel comfortable and joyful. I am loving and gentle and have so much to give to those less fortunate.
So why did I spend all that time worrying about my weight? Well, I was not satisfied with it for one. And I thought I should take care of it before I did anything else. Well that was a misconception for sure.
I didn’t make any headway doing it that way. But when I began turning my energy towards what was working in my life, I became happier, more peaceful and more integrated with those around me.
Everyone has something they bring to the table. What can you do that will bring you back to your real self today? What about you have you kept inside? Are you ready to let her out? Please share about it below, I’d love to hear from you.
To learn more about Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com
YOU! Yes, for the love of you. We often put our attention towards loving someone or something else. This is always a warm fuzzy and we don’t want to change anything about being giving, EXCEPT, can you please include yourself in the equation?
Maybe you don’t think you have time for you. Or maybe you don’t think you need time. Or maybe you don’t think you are worthy or don’t know what to do for you. Well, why does the world deserve your love but you don’t?
When you take time every day to notice yourself, tend to your needs and wants you flourish. When you honor your dreams and dance to your own music, you become happy from the inside out. It shows and others will notice. Not only will you feel great but the giving that you do will come from a new depth. People will feel that it’s coming from a very loving place, not a place that’s been forgotten or neglected.
So, for the love of YOU, pay yourself some attention.
I’ve always been the one in my family who has a camera on most occasions. I had one of the first video cameras in the 80’s. It was the size of Levittown Pennsylvania.
I’m not sure if I took the photos so that I didn’t have to be in the photos or not. I am not really shy. I typically do something in front of the camera, unlike most of the people I shot. I can’t tell you how many outreached arms with a palm facing me are in my videos. Many refused to be photographed. They put their palms out to signify it wasn’t ok. I took the photos any way. Because it was fun.
How many of us don’t want to be photographed? Video taped? Is it because you don’t think you look good enough to be on video? Do you think others will judge you or that you will judge yourself? OMG do I really look like that? Oh that’s disgusting. Tear that up, burn that video. Kill the photographer.
The fact is that everyone sees you that way every day any way. You are the only one who is surprised. You don’t hear others saying ‘oh, look how funny, big or ugly you look’ because they see you ALL the time. So why not enjoy creating some memories and participate in a video or two. Even initiate it. At the very least you won’t feel like a party pooper.
And just for the record. I still have many of those movies from the 80’s. I play them. And yes the palms are still up. But guess what? Every time I show them someone says ‘OMG look how thin I was, or look how great I looked, I wish I still looked that good’.
Remember, the photos you resist taking today could be the ones you admire in 20 years.
How much does your weight get in the way of your career? Are you challenged so much by it that you don’t go on interviews for fear they will reject you? Are you interested in becoming an entrepreneur but your self esteem is so low you don’t think it will work?
Well, let’s just say that sometimes we large women are judged by our appearance. It’s the same with everyone in the world; we are all subject to be judged for our looks, race, spiritual beliefs and so much more. So why would a plus size woman be left out of that? The thing is; are you going to let that stop you from moving forward? If you do, then THEY win, by keeping you playing small.
One day, many years ago while I was a new Realtor, I was playing the pity pot game with myself like I always did. I was at an awards ceremony celebrating the top Realtors. I didn’t win of course because I was large – or so I thought. Then all of a sudden a parade of the top Realtors crossed the stage. As my jaw dropped in this life changing moment I watched as several unlikely people crossed the stage as top producers. Along with a few very ordinary people and a man in a wheel chair, was the person I needed to see most. There before me was a woman proudly walking the stage to receive her top producer award who must have been 400 pounds. She was all I needed to stop my pity party and move passionately forward in my Real Estate career.
From that moment on I gave up the conversation I was too large. I worked at my business like any other top producer and began building momentum. I am very proud to say that I reached the top 6% of my company IN THE WORLD as a large woman. And all I had to do was give up a conversation I was having with myself.
Remember this; there are millions of large woman who are thriving somewhere in the world. Some at jobs and some in their own business. Why shouldn’t you be one of them?
It’s time…. Time to give up the old story that keeps your life small. Go out and challenge yourself to have the job or business of your dreams. The world is waiting for you!
Please pass this on to someone who needs an inspiring word.
For more information on Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com
Often large women play life very safe. They stay close to home, socialize with the same people and go to work and back and that’s it. Does this sound like you?
Who’s to say that being large can’t mean that you can live large? What keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone to spice things up a bit?
Recently I felt a strong pull to pick up and move to Asheville, NC after being in South Florida for 37 years and in the same home for 27. I don’t completely understand why I was brought here but I must tell you that not only did it blow my own mind to do this but it blew everyone elses mind.
I know no one here in Asheville. I am a large woman, no partner and going around making new friends and building a new life. Is it scary? Yes. Am I homesick and confused by my decision? Yes. Am I damned proud of myself for not letting my size stop me from living large? You bet I am.
Being large is not a prison sentence unless you make it that. You must know that I am not an advocate for woman to be and stay large. I am an advocate for those of us who are moving towards our ideal body to be doing something stimulating simultaneously.
I actually have this idea that by my doing this daring move to North Carolina and planning more daring things in the future that it may be one of the important pieces in my physical wellness. After all, isn’t it possible that I have been overeating because I was living a less that passionate life?
What are your thoughts about living large? What do you do and what’s next?
For more about Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com
[tweetmeme]I remember wanting to go to a yoga class but was embarrassed by my weight. I rarely saw a large person in the classes and I was large. Then I remembered the time I went to the gym every day to walk. No one made fun of me and many people acknowledged me. It felt great.
So off I went to my first Hot Yoga class. Insecure and challenged physically. Oh yes, I thought I would die the first day from the heat, and the postures. Who gets into those positions? I needed a lot of coaxing and even used a strap to help me grab my ankles. I’m sure there was grunting and heavy breathing as well. At first I was uncomfortable getting so much help, but then I saw thin people using straps and getting instruction as well. Apparently not everyone’s body is yoga ready when they come to class.
Well, I did eventually get into the positions. Maybe not perfectly but the difference from the first day was amazing. . I lost only some weight at first, yet my body began to adjust to the movement and respond. OH MY, can I really do this?
I continued in that class for several months and lost 80 pounds. It was more significant that I did this for myself then the weight loss. I stood straighter. I felt proud, and I didn’t feel awkward any longer. I invited several of my friends to join me. They were much thinner than I was. It was obvious by the evil eyes and death threats that this was not for them. I of course felt as though I had just conquered Mt Everest.
Eventually, I saw that what stopped me were my own fears and thoughts about what would occur. I may have been judged by others but I never heard it. And even if I had, who says those people don’t judge everyone else too? It’s very important for me to stop my own limiting thoughts since they are much more prevalent than the comments I fear from others.
For more information on Fran Asaro go to www.thriveanyway.com